Recode is proud to present a roundup of the top parenting topics that have become more popular in the past few years.
This week we’re talking to a child psychologist and parenting guru, Dr. Amy Cuddy, about her newest book, Parenting in the Age of the Internet: How to Be a Good Parent in a World That’s Less Guilt-Free.
Dr. Cuddy started researching the subject of parenting in her mid-30s and has spent the past four years studying online parenting.
In this interview, she talks about the power of social media, why parents should make a list of all the things that they’re doing wrong, and why it’s important to be thoughtful about what you say and what you don’t say.
Read the transcript below.
We’ve done a little research on your books to see if we can find any of your research tips or advice that you might find useful for parents.
Let’s talk about how to be effective in a time when your children are learning to feel guilt and shame.
We asked you for some of your tips, and we asked for your insights.
Thanks for sharing!
I have a couple of tips for parents that I think would help you in a lot of ways, including one about using social media to teach your kids how to feel good about themselves.
I think that’s an important topic to discuss with your kids and really think about how you’re teaching them that, especially how you communicate with your child in different contexts.
What’s a good time to teach the kids that they should feel good?
I would think in general you should always teach your child that they are valued.
And then you have to make sure that you don: make them feel important.
But also make sure they know that they don’t have to feel like they have to.
Make sure that they feel comfortable in their own skin.
That’s really what you want your child to do.
And they should be taught how to talk to other people, how to make a good first impression, and how to listen to others.
You can make them do that by: teaching them things.
You know, you can be very honest with them and be like, I want to be liked by other people and people will like me, so I want my parents to like me.
Or you can also just be a great listener.
It might be that you can just be kind and honest, and your kid can learn to be that.
That could be helpful to your child’s social skills.
It’s important that they understand that they can’t control their parents, they can control their friends, and they can influence people.
And I think this is also really important in your own child’s life, because you can really see how that can be a way for your child not to have a bad first impression.
But I think the main thing I think is you want to have the right kind of relationship with your parents and you want them to be supportive and they should really want to know how they can help you.
I really do think that this is really important.
You want to make them understand that you love them and that you want their love.
And so when you have a relationship that you really feel close to your parents, and when they love you and care about you and respect you, and you really care about them and they respect you and they love and respect your children, you should be able to feel a sense of connection with them.
But you have got to be careful about what that feels like.
I just want to get this out of the way.
I know that we’re going to hear from a lot about how these social media platforms have changed our parenting in a way that we don’t always appreciate.
But let’s talk for a minute about the thing that parents have been teaching their children.
What are some of the key lessons that parents can learn from social media that could make a huge difference in how their kids are raised?
One of the biggest lessons is: it’s about being a good listener.
So, you’re not going to say things in the middle of the night.
You’re not saying things in your car, or you’re using Facebook to talk about your feelings and your problems, or even sharing a picture of your cat or your dog or whatever.
If you have an opportunity to say something in the car or on the phone, you might feel like you’re just doing it for the sake of it, but it’s actually kind of helpful to make your child feel comfortable and really connected to you.
And that is what I think really important is to really have that connection.
But it’s not just about words.
I mean, you could talk about that in the morning, and it could be a real gift.
I also think that there is this other aspect that parents are teaching their kids that is really helpful, which is that they teach their children to be more thoughtful about the things they say.
They’re not just saying things for the sole purpose